Dear friends,

You know, I’ve been so burnt out lately. Maybe it’s just an excuse for my laziness. Or not? All at once it seems like a bad excuse because I’m not productive at all. I do feel guilty. May be?

You know that feeling when you’re already running late, but you keep delaying because you’re busy scrolling through every single cat video on Tiktok? Only 10mins left then you’ll be late for school, or work, or an important meetup. Or when you’ve finally sat down to meditate, and your brain decides now is the perfect time to re-evaluate every embarrassing thing you’ve ever said since primary school? Been there all the times so I do know how it feels. Congratulations, my friend! It’s Bonnou you are experiencing! Yay you!

In ancient Buddhist thought, Bonnou (煩悩) refers to the 108 earthly desires that cause suffering and keep us tied to the cycle of reincarnation. These are the cravings, the aversions, the delusions, and all the mental gunk that gets in the way of achieving enlightenment. In old Japan, monks would ring a bell 108 times on New Year’s Eve (the Joya no Kane) to symbolically cleanse the spirit of these pesky desires. It was a serious, deeply spiritual affair, a kind of cosmic deep-cleaning for the soul.

That’s what the wise said. But to be honest, Bonnou does make a huge impact in modern Japan, and everywhere else for that matter. Bonnou has evolved through times. It’s less about achieving nirvana and more about the daily struggles of existence. Our struggles are real and our Bonnou is more real.

For example, the modern-day Bonnou of the Gacha gacha pon. I love Gacha by all means. I love to try my luck, or my desire to win all the Kuromi cuties in that Sanrio Gacha box. How can I resist? In the past, a Bonnou might have been a craving for worldly possessions or a longing for a rival’s land. In the modern day? It’s the desperate urge to buy that limited-edition Chikawa from McDonalds happy meals, even though you know it’s going to derail your diet, and your wallet. This isn’t just a choice, it’s an existential crisis. But, who am I to judge?

Then we can witness the classic Bonnou of social media, where the numbers say it all. It’s about the followers, the views, the reactions, but never about what matters to your mind. The ancient desire to be seen and admired has been perfectly distilled into the modern anxiety of getting enough likes on your latest post. Are your Instagram or Tiktok grid perfectly curated? Is your Thread post “woa” enough to go viral? Did your friend’s story just get more engagement than yours? This isn’t a simple desire for recognition. It’s the 108 Bonnou condensed into one glowing, battery-draining rectangle.

Then we can witness the classic Bonnou of social media, where the numbers say it all. It’s about the followers, the views, the reactions, but never about what matters to your mind. The ancient desire to be seen and admired has been perfectly distilled into the modern anxiety of getting enough likes on your latest post. Are your Instagram or Tiktok grid perfectly curated? Is your Thread post “woa” enough to go viral? Did your friend’s story just get more engagement than yours? This isn’t a simple desire for recognition. It’s the 108 Bonnou condensed into one glowing, battery-draining rectangle.

In old Japan, we have the Bonnou of delay. This might have been a priest putting off their morning chants to admire a beautiful momiji. In the modern days, if you’ve got an important presentation to create, but you spend hours organizing your workspace to match the latest Fengshui trick to manifest more money? You know you should be working and being functional, but the need to achieve instant win or wish is just too powerful.

The old Japanese priest had their work just for them, but they at least had a clear path to follow. Today, almost everyday, we’re battling Bonnou. The bell still rings enough 108 times, but do we need a new ritual? Just for us to give up on delaying and get our ass off the bed and straight to the front? Maybe we should just accept it, that we need to make a schedule that dedicate to our survival mode. After all, what’s a little bit of suffering without a hilarious, modern-day Bonnou to blame it on?

And I, I should study for my test tomorrow, instead of delaying by writing more articles.